#MondayMantra

baby girl, ain’t a one of us who has time for half-assed ANYthing.  whether it be friendship, workouts, projects, or a relationship.  you have to look at it from an all-or-nothing point-of-view to determine if it’s worth your time and effort.

some people are afraid of taking the plunge into something because they can’t control the outcome (i’m one of these people, too, in some instances).  they’re worried that they’ll ruin whatever good thing they already have, or that they’ll lose more than they’ll gain.  now, we can and will never be able to 100% predict the outcome of any action or inaction.  there are far too many what-ifs to be entirely accurate.  so why hold back?  why deny yourself the chance of something greater than your current situation because there’s a chance it could go bad?

i think what i need, or want, or am looking for, is a knight and a sword.  someone who is ready and willing to ride into battle with me, but also ready and willing to ride into battle for me.  someone who understands that sometimes “i’m tired,” means that i haven’t had enough sleep because of all the things i’m involved in, and sometimes “i’m tired,” means that i’m figuratively tired of doing all the things that i have to do on my own or without much help or appreciation, and just need a hug, a good meal, a beer, and a netflix binge.  i haven’t experienced that kind of love, yet.

what i have experienced a lot of is half-assed lovers.  people who were too afraid to lose what i brought to the table, and who weren’t willing to put in 100% effort to create a bond that is unbreakable.  now, i believe in seasons in life.  i believe that sometimes we meet a person who is good for us in the moment that we are in, but they aren’t always meant to move on with us to the next season.  but i also believe in a forever kind of love. i believe in a partnership rooted in taking a chance, in the adventurous spirit, in magic mixed with enough mayhem to change your life’s course.

i’m good with how i handle the good and bad in my life, right now, in this season of my life, where i am enjoying being on my own and rediscovering who i am.  but i know there’s someone out there who i want to share that with, too.  and i think it’s ok to be a little bit picky about who that person is, especially because i’ve waited so long to share my life with them.

so, ask yourself, is there any area in your life (or love-life) that feels like it’s not at 100%?  if so, then i challenge you to do something about it.  maybe that means you move on from it, maybe that means you prioritize it more in your routine.  but don’t just let it dwindle under half-assed attention, love.  you’ll feel so much lighter if you take the time to give the things that are important to you more attention, and rid yourself of the things (or the people) that you can do without.

#MondayMantra.

via.

i didn’t have the heart to post anything last week.  i struggled to create content for my instagram and for our shop’s social media pages.  it didn’t feel right, so i spent the week reflecting and thinking about the victims and what i could do as an individual person to help the current situation in our country.  it’s tough, and without getting too far into it, i was feeling really insignificant.

but the more i thought about it, the more i realized that my one contribution that i could make to society would be to treat others kindly, even when i’m not feeling my best, and to continue to love and appreciate life.  if my joie de vivre affects just one person in a positive way, then that’s sharing the light, that’s leaving a legacy.

we have to turn our pain into activism.  and by that i don’t mean that we all have to stand on the steps of congress every day of our lives.  i just mean that we need to funnel our energy into positive actions in our communities, in the lives of the people we encounter on a daily basis, even in our own homes.  right now, we only have lucas, and he’s the light of all of our lives.  i can only hope that he learns from his grandparents and aunties and momma how to love, how to be sensitive, how to be strong, how to foster and project positivity.  and it’s rough in this day and age, when so much anger and destruction is in our face on social media and the news every single day.  we didn’t grow up with that, but now it’s a constant in our lives and we have to train ourselves to not let these things weigh us down and keep us from having faith in humanity.

what if, instead of sharing negative news…what if we tried to share one positive news story a day?  there are tons of them out there.  there are veterans helping other veterans cope with ptsd (i cried when i watched this episode of returning the favor).  there are dogs who are rescued, there are children who host lemonade stands and use the proceeds to buy coffee for their local law enforcement officers, there are mothers helping mothers who can’t produce breast milk.  the list goes on and on.  these stories inspire us, they encourage us to make positive changes in our lives, they foster hope.

and we need so much more hope right now.  so, i hope you can go out there, and take whatever pain you’ve been carrying, and channel it into something proactive.  go be a precious soul, loves.  share your light.

vegas.


i’m struggling, today, to put thought into words, and words into sentences.  i woke up tired, and sore.  i got dressed, listened to my favorite program (the second date update on a local radio station), laughed my butt off, contemplated listening to a podcast for the rest of my drive, but instead switched the channel to a local country music station.  i then heard of the terrible tragedy that occurred last night in las vegas at the route 91 harvest festival.  i immediately went into shock, to the point where i’m not 100% sure i remember the rest of my drive into work.  my heart sank, i messaged my family; we’ve talked about how crazy it is, how close to home it hits, how much our hearts hurt.

i don’t know what to say.  we love vegas, the girls and i try to go there once a year.  our parents were just there to celebrate their anniversary.  corinne’s best friend is planning to have her bachelorette party there in the spring.  we love country music, we grew up on george strait, garth brooks, patsy cline.  we go to festivals all the time.  we go to concerts all the time.  we never think twice about our safety, other than to use an uber or a dd. this isn’t the world I want for my nephew or my future children. this isn’t the legacy i want us to leave behind. 

i will say this, and i’ve said it before, i won’t be scared into staying home.  we don’t know what the shooter’s motive was, yet, but regardless, people will use this senseless tragedy to say all the reasons why we should do this, or shouldn’t do that.  but i won’t change my life because there is evil in this world.  i would rather let my light shine a little brighter, with all the other people who are letting their light shine bright, than sit home in darkness.  music and live music venues are meant to be places of refuge.  where people of different backgrounds, different socioeconomic status, different beliefs come together and unite in their love for their favorite musicians, songs, poetry.

garth brooks posted a live video on facebook earlier and in it he said that his advice to those who had to play shows tonight and weren’t sure what to do was that, “the show must go on.” and he’s right. i wholeheartedly agree. people have always used music to get us through the darkest times and we will continue to. from having a bad day and blasting your fave band to tuning in to benefit concerts in the wake of tragedy, we will always have music, always have poetry, always have that sense of community that unites us. 

so go to your concerts. go to your festivals. dance beneath the moonlight, and sing til you lose your voice. go out and live, babes. i wish that for you, me, for everyone.

my heart and my thoughts are with the victims and their families, with the first responders and their families, with the country music community, the vegas community, and all those affected by this senseless tragedy. 

#MondayMantra

phew.  it’s been a tough few weeks, emotionally & mentally.  i think i just might be drained, and spreading myself too thin in some areas of my life, but i have a hard time letting things go, so i’m really just trying to find a way to reorganize, prioritize, and move forward.  i’m trying so hard to not burn out, which i think is why i’ve been so emotional lately.  vicious cycle, no?

i posted something about dating in san antonio on my facebook page over the weekend that resulted in a lot of comments.  i originally posted it to be funny and not self-deprecating or pitiful, but the post ended up showing me that a lot of my female peers are feeling the same way about dating.  that is – we’re not meeting the right guy, but it’s not entirely because they aren’t out there, we just aren’t ready to meet them yet.  on one hand, i have a lot of love to give, on the other, i haven’t met the person who i would like to share my free time with.  i’ve been a little “selfish” with my free time, because i think it’s important to put myself first right now.  so i feel like it’s okay for me to be silly, or “amusing” about my love life (or lack-thereof) because sometimes my experiences are amusing.  and as i’ve always said, we only get one life, so why not enjoy it?

my point is this, coco chanel had it right.  we can get caught up in all the “need-to’s” and “want-to’s” (“i need to do this, i want to do that”), but at the end of the day, if we’re not amusing ourselves and our loved ones, then maybe we need to take a step back and re-evaluate.  don’t let the hard times get you down.  take your time, recover, and keep on truckin’.

#MondayMantra

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“I post most often about political matters over on twitter, but when I post them on Instagram or Facebook I’m always amazed by how many people say some version of “stick to writing,” as if writing can ever be separate from politics.  Like our literature, our lives are never apolitical, even if we believe them to be.  We are always making a choice to see or not see, to speak against or for, to call out injustice in others and examine it in our own hearts, minds, and actions, or to pretend it doesn’t exist.  I’m horrified by the beliefs expressed by the white nationalists who marched on Charlottesville this weekend, but I am not surprised by them.  Their protest was a display of bigotry that runs all the way back to our nation’s beginning.  Their words of hatred and their violent actions are the death rattle of those who have been (and still are) the beneficiaries of white male heterosexual power in the face of a society — yes, that’s still us — who at least aspires to equality and tolerance.  They are angry because they know they’re losing.  They are carrying those furious torches because they know the darkness of their story will never light the way.  We light it every day by choosing love over hated [sic], kindness over cruelty, generosity over fear.  There are not two sides.  There is no other way.”

via @cherylstrayed.

i have read several posts on my Facebook feed from supporters of the president that read like they would have us turn our attention away from the underlying hatred that has become more and more apparent in this country.  while i agree that there are a great many things our nation should be concerned with like education and the economy, i don’t think that we can turn a blind-eye to racism and domestic terrorism.  we all have to agree that white nationalism has no place in our society.  we all have to agree that divisive symbols of racism and oppression, like the confederate flag, have no place in our society.  i’m not saying we forget our nation’s history.  i’m saying we learn from it.  we become better citizens, better neighbors, better humans, because of it.  we teach our children and grandchildren that hate doesn’t always win, because in case anyone forgot, the confederacy lost.  jim crow lost.  segregation lost.  let’s not backtrack now.

so today’s #mondaymantra is a call-to-arms.  it’s a plea that you allow yourself to be angered by the hatred spewed by a small group of small-minded people.  it’s a hope that you always speak up against oppression, against prejudice, against racism.  and that you act against it in peaceful and respectful ways.  and that someday we find ourselves never having to have this conversation again.

#MondayMantra

hope.  it keeps us young.  it reminds us of christmas eve’s spent not able to sleep for want of catching santa, or that first crush that resulted in a first kiss that stole our breath away, or the anticipation of opening an acceptance letter from our first choice university.

hope is the one thing we can never have enough of.  it’s the only thing we can hold on to, when all else has failed, the universe has failed us, love has failed us…

without hope, we’d forget that the sun rises on a new day tomorrow and that true love is worth waiting for and that we need to put in the work to achieve the dreams that come at the darkest hours of our nights.

hope keeps me waiting for you, to show up, love in your eyes and adventure in your heart, ready to dance every night away with me.

don’t let hope go, y’all.  hold on to it with every inch of your eternal being, because hope will last long after we’re gone, and will carry on in the legacies we leave behind.

#MondayMantra

there’s a line in a taylor swift song that i love; it goes, “nothing safe is worth the drive,” (“treacherous”) and how true is that?

i learned the hard way that you can’t take the easy route if you’re ever going to get close enough to your dreams.  it just doesn’t happen that way.  my regrets are few, but almost all are of the chances i didn’t take.  which is funny, because the women whom i admire most, are all ball-busters, adventure-seekers, unapologetically glass ceiling shatterers.

it took a few months for me to recoup from last year’s eye-opening disaster of a break-up.  a few months to find a new job and start to feel like a person again.  a few months to grasp my self-esteem as tightly as i could and weave it back into my heart and soul again.  i’m not that great at the stitches, so it’s still a little loose, but not completely lost.

the pain and dejection i endured and then shed in those months of healing awakened the survivalist in me.  this will not be it, i decided.  this will not be the end of my story, the moment i become a hollowed out version of myself, never fulfilling my goals, achieving my full potential, going through the motions like a zombie, always hungry, but never well-fed.

so i drive.  i set myself behind the wheel, and i follow the road as it calls to me.  remember, we aren’t meant to take the same path, so we have to become great listeners to our hearts.  we have to fight, babes, to hear it over the din of social media and expectations.  we’ll get there, just have faith in your battle.