#MondayMantra

phew.  it’s been a tough few weeks, emotionally & mentally.  i think i just might be drained, and spreading myself too thin in some areas of my life, but i have a hard time letting things go, so i’m really just trying to find a way to reorganize, prioritize, and move forward.  i’m trying so hard to not burn out, which i think is why i’ve been so emotional lately.  vicious cycle, no?

i posted something about dating in san antonio on my facebook page over the weekend that resulted in a lot of comments.  i originally posted it to be funny and not self-deprecating or pitiful, but the post ended up showing me that a lot of my female peers are feeling the same way about dating.  that is – we’re not meeting the right guy, but it’s not entirely because they aren’t out there, we just aren’t ready to meet them yet.  on one hand, i have a lot of love to give, on the other, i haven’t met the person who i would like to share my free time with.  i’ve been a little “selfish” with my free time, because i think it’s important to put myself first right now.  so i feel like it’s okay for me to be silly, or “amusing” about my love life (or lack-thereof) because sometimes my experiences are amusing.  and as i’ve always said, we only get one life, so why not enjoy it?

my point is this, coco chanel had it right.  we can get caught up in all the “need-to’s” and “want-to’s” (“i need to do this, i want to do that”), but at the end of the day, if we’re not amusing ourselves and our loved ones, then maybe we need to take a step back and re-evaluate.  don’t let the hard times get you down.  take your time, recover, and keep on truckin’.

friday.

is it really the last weekend of summer?  down here in the lone star state you can hardly tell!  doesn’t mean i haven’t been rotating my fall pieces into my outfits already…so excited to get back to cozy knits, jeans, and booties.  i just bought this mossimo supply co. cardigan at target and have probably worn it every day of the week in my office – it’s my new favorite layering piece!  the guys keep it pretty chilly around here, so it’s come in great use!  of course, i’m still rocking crop tops and shorts on the weekends, sooooo…cooler weather can’t get here too soon.

that sweater wasn’t the only thing i bought this week.  i’ve been feeling a little down lately, a little bummed out the last few weeks, and pretty stressed on top of it all.  i’m going to try to put it all into words to share with y’all, but can i just say that liking someone who doesn’t like you back or isn’t ready to like you back, or not really meeting someone you click with and want to share your experiences with, or training again after a few months off from running – it can all put a little damper on your heart.  life’s tough, for sure, but i suppose i’m a little tougher so i’m not worried about getting through it all.  in the meantime – i did a whole lot of retail therapy, and i’m not too sure i’m done yet, lol.  oops!  can’t wait for all my cute new things to come in, though. 😉

this weekend i’ll be cheering on the utsa roadrunners with my family and working on a couple different projects, plus trying to get through this book.

hope y’all have a festive end-of-summer weekend, loves!

xoCandice

  • because i’m just ever-so-slightly excited for fall – the every girl’s 2017 fall bucket list.
  • i’ve told y’all that i started training for the san antonio rock n roll half-marathon.  this week was the first week of my official training plan, and i woke up 3 mornings this week to run with my dad.  of course twice he didn’t get up and i ended up running after work, once with melissa and once alone.  also this week a woman was sexually assaulted running a trail in one of the parks in san antonio.  so i’ve been very vocal on Facebook about the culture of female runners and this runner’s world article just said everything i think and feel and want others to know.
  • young colin firth is all the heart eye emojis.
  • turnpike troubadours just released yet another amazing new song.  i’m in love.
  • you better believe i’m making room in my closet for these adorable boots i found in junk gypsy‘s shop.

ghosted [excerpts from a book i’ll never write – eighteen]

she looked him

d e a d

in the eye

and said,

“i sat there in that room,

waiting for you to show up.

i didn’t ask you to.

i couldn’t.

i knew if i did you’d show up,

but you wouldn’t really be there.

you’d be upset i dragged you into it,

as if you weren’t partially to blame.

so, though it killed,

i sat there alone,

waiting for you to want to be there,

for me.  for us.

i can never forget,

never forgive you,

for that day in february,

i sat there,

in a cold, dark room,

not alone, but alone.

and i cried.  big, ugly, quiet tears.

because you never showed up.”

#MondayMantra

it sucks to put yourself out there and then get rejected over and over again.  but i can’t stop.  won’t stop.  (sorry, couldn’t help myself.)  because i’d rather know, than not know.  i’d rather take the risk and end up with something real and wonderful, or at least learn from losing, than sit and wonder about it for the rest of my life.  because, damn, those shoulda-coulda-wouldas blow.  they’re the worst to regret.

so don’t waste precious time waiting, babes.  don’t be afraid to wear your heart on your sleeve, like battle colors, and ride headfirst into the wind – regrets be damned.

taking a moment today to remember those who lost their lives 16 years ago and gratitude to those brave men and women whose service and sacrifice we could never forget.  #9/11/01

sunrise.

early morning run with my dad this morning.  two miles in the dark (the sun hadn’t come up yet).  just enough to soothe my soul and clear my mind.  just enough to get me started as i get back to training for the half-marathon one of my bffs (jenna) and i are going to run in december.  i officially start training next week, but i haven’t been running much (at all?  i can’t even remember the last time i ran consistently) this summer so last weekend dad and i started back up, just to get our legs moving again.  it always shocks me how much running makes me feel like a new person when i get back to it after a long break.  it’s just one of those things, i guess.  y’know, the kind we take for granted and have to walk away from to remember how much we enjoy and need it in our lives?

anyway, wish me luck as i train, y’all.  i have a lot of small, accomplishable goals set for this marathon, so i’m gonna need as much good vibes as i can get!

friday.

img_7716

my labor day weekend plans include shopping with my bff, celebrating my grandma’s birthday, and not much else.  i’m so excited for an extra day off, though!  i wish i could spend it going down to the coast, but i don’t think we’re quite ready for that yet.  texans are resilient, though, so i’m sure it won’t be long before everything is back to some semblance of normal.  besides, there are quite a few weeks left of summer weather for us down here in south texas, so there will still be plenty of time for that last summer road trip to the coast.

i hope y’all have some fun plans for the weekend!

xoCandice