it’s friday!!!

on top of the world.

this week after my cousin’s wedding and our long vacation in the pnw has been rough.  i’m exhausted in a way i haven’t been in a while, and i’m having a hard time getting back to my daily routines.

i also feel refreshed in a way that i haven’t felt in a long time.  and that is worth any kind of jet lag or post-vacation blues i am feeling now.

i almost forgot how much i love going up north.  i was a northeast girl for five years (college and one year post-college) and every time i head north i am reminded of how green it is.  down here in texas, we have that bright blue, wide open sky, and beautiful hill country, but up north, it’s just canopy after canopy of green, green trees, and specifically in seattle and portland (where we spent last week), gorgeous views of the mountains.

it’s enough to make this nomad-girl’s heart flutter.

also, it was a week without serious allergies (how with all that greenery up there is beyond me, but i’m not asking any questions!), which i am paying for now!  but worth it, so worth it.

i’ll try to remember to share photos and stories from our trip.  we tried some really great food and did all the touristy things.  plus my cousin made for an absolutely beautiful bride, and we are all too happy to welcome her husband (eeeeek!) into our family!

i may not be on vacation anymore, but i’m really excited for this weekend.  hopefully i can recharge, but let’s be honest, my best friend is coming home for the weekend with her honey bunny and we are going to be taking in the UTSA football game and getting our food and drink on.  can’t wait to see her, she moved to houston about two months ago, so it’s been that long since i’ve seen her!

other than that, i’ll be half-marathon training, and trying not to buy any more books or clothes 🙂 but NO promises!

have a happy weekend, loves.

xoCandice

  • revamping my closet (again) and i’ve been on the hunt for the perfect boyfriend (or mom) jeans (because doesn’t anyone else get tired of trying to stuff their large calves into skinny jeans?  no?  just me?).  found these via the sister studio‘s IG story and i’m a true believer.  these are comfy, stretchy, fun, and right now they’re just under $20 with code women20 (reg. $22).
  • i’m a sucker for a good forest-smelling candle.  we picked this one up at pike place market while we were in seattle.
  • i ordered where the crawdads sing approximately two days before reese witherspoon named it as her september book of the month.  i’m slowly getting through it (because, life), but i was hooked by owens’ lyrical prose by, like, page 8.  (i’ll try to share the exact passage that won me over soon!)
  • art of ice cream is coming to austin (just a short hour and a half drive from san antonio), so i have to go!  i’ll take any excuse to make myself sick with ice cream and all the sprinkles lol!
  • just signed up for the Epilepsy Foundation Central & South Texas‘ annual Superhero 5k with my fam!  $5 off registration if you sign up Sept. 21-23 with cold FL18.
  • want.  //  need.

idk about you, but i’m feeling 32.

[title is an obvious reference to t.swift’s “22”]

31 has come and gone.  you would think by now i’d be an older, wiser version of myself, but nope.  with 32 came the same ol’, same ol’.  for example, i spent my birthday getting too much sun and drinking too much tequila, and by the end of the night i had lost my entire makeup bag.  yup…all $600+ of products, gone.

so, now, as i have done in the past with other losses, i’m trying to rebuild.  this time it’s not as serious as say when i had my heart broken a few weeks after my 30th birthday, but still…same ol’, same ol’.

everything is a lesson right?

i’ve spent the past month doing a whole lot of adult-y type things – vacationing for the weekend in port a/rockport with my honey, my best friend & her bf, moving into a new home with my honey, buying necessities for said-home (who knew a person could get so excited over a new stainless steel step-can?), planning trips for my cousin’s bachelorette & wedding – it’s been a busy month, i guess.  but i still don’t feel like an adult.  i still called my dad when my tire went flat.  i still call my mom when i feel under the weather.  i still don’t want to clean up the kitchen after i destroy it making dinner.

is it our vanity that forces us to search for signs of “adulthood”?  am i not making it in life because i let my dishes sit in the sink overnight (not all of them, just the ones i was too tired to wash after spending several hours standing in the kitchen)?  why is that how we measure our worth?

i love that i’m still a little scatterbrained.  it’s not fun having to repurchase all my favorite beauty products, but the backstory is a little hilarious.  i don’t mind laughing at myself, i guess.

maybe that’s the wisdom i want to impart as i move (more slowly than usual) into 32 years of life.  you gotta be willing to laugh at yourself sometimes, because life comes at you fast, and it’s not always pretty and it’s not always easy.  it’s all about how you react…take it in stride.  🙂

happy hump day, y’all!

life update.

oh heyyyyy, y’all.

long time, no see.  i think we’ve done this enough times that i don’t need to go into specifics and details of why i’ve been m.i.a. – but just in case…

life, babes.  so much life.

i’m two weeks away from finishing up my paralegal certification course, and this semester has been heavy with homework (since i’m taking the class online).  the girls and i went on a cruise to costa maya and cozumel in early february.  we celebrated corinne’s birthday immediately upon our return, and then segued into rodeo season (i saw goo goo dolls, cam, brad paisley, and brothers osborne).  we attended the first botanical music festival at six flags.  SO MANY CONCERTS in the past few months.  like, i’m legit living my best musical life right now.  we also celebrated case’s birthday – she’s in her last year of her 20s!

let’s see…what else?

oh!  there’s a new (to you) guy – collin.  he’s the sweetest.  i won’t gush too much, we all know that’s not my style, but i’ve been into him for a long, long time, and it’s a little crazy and totally serendipitous that we have finally found each other at this point in our lives.  so, there’s that.

and i’m so happy.  incandescently happy.

we have been so busy the last couple of months, that i keep thinking i need to slow down and relax, but then more and more things come up.  for example, this weekend corinne’s best friend (who used to be casee’s best friend in hs, so has pretty much been family for the last 15 years or so) is getting married and we’re celebrating granny’s 79th birthday.  fiesta is on the horizon, so i’ll definitely be hitting up taste of nola, and maybe one or two other events.  later this month i’m heading up to dallas to reunite with some of the girls from rochester (which i’m really excited about, because i’ll be missing our reunion this year).  but honestly, i’m really looking forward to getting away somewhere quiet sometime soon with collin.  i think we both need it.

i’ll be back soon with more content, y’all.  pinky promise 😉

#MondayMotivation

healing is a process.  one that we sometimes don’t realize we’re in until it’s been completed.  as with all good things, it takes time.

my last relationship was a learning experience.  i learned the kind of person i didn’t want to be, and i learned the kind of person i didn’t want to put my faith into, and didn’t want or need to be a partner (i use that term loosely).

of course, i couldn’t do that if i kept looking over my shoulder.  i had to stare my future square in the eye and say, this is what i want, and this is what i don’t want, and this is how i plan to get there.  now, we all know that things don’t always go according to our plans, but having that determination and setting your sights on a goal can make such a difference in your healing process.  after a while, i was so far ahead of what i was trying to move away from, that it became just a blip in my past.  a thing i don’t even think about most days.

my point is this:  you find your strength when you learn to let go.  let go of your past, let go of people’s perception of you, let go of your regrets and your insecurities.  and what you have left over…that’s the person you’ve been looking for, all your life.

new year’s day.

you can’t wait to wash the curls out.

they don’t feel like you.  you’ve always been more of a wave, slowly rolling, over and over, pushing some things out, pulling some things in.  you like your hair to match your spirit – wild, messy, not too perfect.

you thought the curls would lift your spirits, but they just made you feel less like you.  it was the perfect cold weather occasion, but you couldn’t shake the thought that you weren’t where you were meant to be.

so you’ll rinse the curls out, stand under the scalding hot water, let it strip away all the secrets you tried to hide in your hair, and start fresh.  isn’t that the way it’s meant to be this time of year, anyway?

the goodbye.

there are no tears left for you.

she cried them out so many months ago, so there’s nothing left to fight the hate-fires in her heart.  they just have to slowly burn out, like the love she used to have.

you lost her long before she cut you out.  you lost her long before the night she said things she couldn’t take back.  you lost her in the moments you chose not to be present, in the moments you chose dishonesty and secrecy, in the moments that you chose not to be public with your relationship.  she wondered if it was even real at all, or had she only just imagined it?

it was the little things that set her in motion, that rolled her closer and closer to a cliff she had no choice but to throw herself over in self-preservation.

and words were said, and regret was planted, and then she tried to make herself smaller to fit back into your closed off heart.  but you had already cracked it open for someone else, so she never was going to fit.

it’s done now.  she no longer misses you on sunday mornings.  she no longer holds her breath when she sees a truck that looks like yours.  she no longer hears a song and thinks of you.  your name isn’t the one she’s hoping for when her phone dings.  there’s no pebble-sized hole in her carefully guarded heart shaped especially for you.  there are only smoldering cinders, from pain gone up in flames.

#MondayMantra

pay it forward, babes.

i love that this season is about giving, so much more than receiving.  my sisters and i are looking for ways to give back to our community, and i’m incredibly grateful that i have the ability to do so, that our parents raised us to feel like it was important to do so, and that i have two partners-in-crime to give back with.  i’m a firm believer in “it-takes-a-village” and it couldn’t show more true than this time of year.

so do the good deeds, babes.  lift each other up.  think of all the women who came before you.  think of the ones you look up to.  aspire to be as great, and as strong as they are/were.  share that passion and dedication with the men and women who come after you.  you’ll be surprised how much of a difference you can make in someone else’s life, just by believing in and supporting them.  🙂