burning the candle at both ends lately, but y’all, it’s so good.
i know you’re not typically supposed to be this hard on yourself, that you’re supposed to give yourself time to rest and relax and recharge, but i fully believe in the fullness of life. that each moment is a moment meant to be lived in whatever way you deem appropriate.
for me this past weekend, that meant a lot of naps (ok, my body also was screaming at me that i needed them), some time spent outside, some time spent sitting on the floor of my nephew’s playroom, drinking a coors light and talking to my sister, spent some time on the couch watching duck tales with collin, and lots of “brain breaks” as i studied. i actually spent a lot of my study time this weekend doing 30-40 min increments, with 5-10 min breaks. not because i understand the material better that way, but moreso because i struggle with focus. i tried to fit as many chores as possible in between studying too, for longer breaks.
i do think we get so caught up in doing it all, that we forget that “all” includes taking time for ourselves too. and we get so obsessed with the concept of time that we forget that we have to actually live our lives, not just work ourselves to the bone to get to our perceived “best life”.
anyway, i hope you have a great, productive, well-lived week, babes.
y’all! four weeks in, and i’m still truckin’ along! i was a bit more tired this week, so i’ve decided this weekend will be all about getting ahead in my work so I can attempt to sleep normal hours during the week. we’ll see how that goes…the procrastinator in me runs pretty deep.
i did (hopefully) talk collin into a pizza date, so i’m really looking forward to that. y’know. the little things. i’m also on a mission to find some cheap planters because a couple of my plant-babies need new (larger) homes.
can i just tell y’all, what a difference an organized room makes in my life? we reorganized the office last weekend, so i can use it to study in (it’s much quieter in there than at the dining table) and it looks SO. GOOD. i’m dreaming of more plant babies to put in there (it gets a lot of sunlight), and possibly an armchair to read in comfortably (if we can get rid of the larger desk neither of us uses that takes up the majority of the space). also vacillating on whether the room needs a rug…hmm. decisions.
i really hope that this friday the 13th/full moon situation today flips my luck with my car. so far this month i’ve had to deal with replacing a headlight (which btw i can’t do because my sister had a light kit installed when she owned the car, and idk what to do with it!), replacing my windshield wipers (who knew the lock could break off, and the wiper could slide off?), and repairing a nail in the tire i literally just replaced in july. like, what? pretty sure this car is cursed, or hates me.
two weeks of law classes down, and, y’all…i can’t believe i didn’t do this before.
i don’t think i’ve ever in my life felt more like i was where i was supposed to be. it’s hard, don’t get me wrong. lordt, is it hard. but i have loved every single minute of it so far (well, maybe not the parts where i have to leave work early to go to meetings on campus, but that’s not an every week kinda thing, so i’ll get over it). i’m slowly settling into a routine, and learning so much about myself as a student again.
i finally made it to the gym wednesday morning. it sucks that i have to get up so early to fit my workouts in, but i don’t want to go without them. i’ll definitely take advantage of the treadmills at the school gym when it’s time to train for the half-marathon, but i still intend to get my weight training in at MixFit. even if it means i have to get up before 5 am 😫.
anyway, we have a long weekend (thank goodness) and i don’t have much planned (thank goodness again) besides studying and catching up on sleep. i hope everyone has a lovely weekend!
i’m not sure when or where in my life i started underestimating myself, but let’s just say it’s been my worst habit for at least two decades of my life (not excluding my bad taste in guys – until recently, of course – but we’ve been there already, so…or perhaps they’re related?). from walking away from a spot on the practice team for a really good traveling softball team with a really good coach at 13, to putting off applying to law school for 12 years, i’ve really just kept digging myself into a hole in the sand, keeping me from reaching my fullest potential.
but not anymore.
i start law school in the fall, and i’m equal parts anxious to start and terrified. part of me just wants to get in there and get to the part where i (hopefully) figure it out, and part of me is like, “shit, what did i get myself into?” it’s not easy and it’s not meant to be easy, and i am slowly coming to terms with that.
just because something is hard, though, doesn’t mean we should shy away from it. the one thing i’ve learned over the years is that no matter how difficult something seems, or how much it takes us out of our comfort zone, we survive it, and we’re better for it, even if we fail in some way. honestly, starting, taking the first step, initiating your plan, that’s the truly hardest part – every thing after that is really just showing up and putting in the work. now hopefully i’m not going to fail law school, but should the worst happen, i know i can get through it, as long as i show up.
i’m so excited for this new journey in my life. it’s been a long time coming, and i know it’s going to take me a while, but i’ve found something i truly love, and the end result will be so good for me and my people. and all i had to do was take that first step.
they say “misery loves company.” well, guess-fucking-what, y’all? while i can see that a miserable person would seek out to make others around them miserable, i also think that you have a choice to allow someone else’s misery to have an affect on your own happiness.
the key here is…you. only you have the power to determine whether you have a good day or bad day. are some things out of your control? yes. of course they are. humans are…well, human. they make decisions that are sometimes shitty and effect you. but you can choose to dwell on someone else’s crap day or you can just take a deep breath (or several) and move on. woosa.
i’ve had some down days, some hard days, some days when i just wanted to dial it in, but in the grand scheme of things, i’ve always known that when i’m going through something hard i’ll get through it. how can i know this you ask? well, because i have gotten through it. i’ve gotten through hard things. and maybe they weren’t the hardest things comparatively, but in my life, they were pretty hard. and yet here i am, living and breathing and writing to you about how you can get through it all.
so, trust that that miserable person who is sending miserable vibes your way, is probably going to get over it in time. and trust that you can overcome their negativity, and keep on, keepin’ on.
i couldn’t let 2019 start without a proper “it’s friday” post, could i!?
well, i guess considering i haven’t done one since october, i probably could’ve gotten away with it…but new year, new attempt to make my way to this space more often…!?
this first week of 2019 can only be characterized one way. tiring. i’m still tired from 2018, y’all! i’m sure we all are, a little exhausted from the holidays. last night i fell asleep at 9:30! i’m hoping once i get back into my workout routine (which was put on hold thanks to being sick for 2 weeks) that i’ll have energy again.
do y’all have any fun plans for the first weekend of the year? i’m looking forward to making menudo with my grandma at my parent’s house tomorrow. grandma makes a big batch of menudo at the beginning of every year, and for the last couple of years she’s tried to teach my mom and i, but i haven’t retained any of her lessons. this year, i’m going to make more of a concentrated effort to remember the recipe and instructions.
other than that, i think we’ll have a fairly quiet weekend. maybe watch a few more episodes of the man in the high castle (is anyone else watching this? collin and i are obsessed!), get some reading in, and our normal chores and meal prep. nothing too crazy.
have a well-fed, recharging weekend, babes.
what i’m currently reading: belzhar by meg wolitzer. i feel like i found this book recommendation on somebody else’s blog, but i cannot for the life of me remember whose it was!
looking for bathroom decor inspiration and stumbled across this blog post with so many perfect little details. i’m a little bit obsessed with everything decor right now, since we decorated the house for christmas, and now we’re taking everything down, i’m inspired to add more personal touches to our rental in the places that ordinarily get neglected (ie., our spare bathroom).
to go in hand with my 2018 post – i also had no plans for resolutions. i can only resolve to be a better version of myself, every. single. day. and so here’s a list of things that i think will help me accomplish that goal.
Write more. Determined to give myself 30 minutes of free writing a day
Read more. Two (or more) books a month. Book list coming soon!
Walk with Collin and Riley more. We have so much land to explore, I definitely want to take more advantage of it.
Knock off 11 more minutes from my half-marathon PR. I already shaved off 4 minutes from 2017 to 2018.
Really just have a better workout plan. I use the BBG app sporadically, and Collin and I try to make it to the park most nights (although not lately since we’ve both been sick, and I had some family in the hospital – it was hard to keep up).
Make more of an effort to see my friends. It’s been a lonely time in San Antonio for me. Not that I take Collin or my family for granted, but I miss happy hours with Melissa, and I’ve really been missing my girlfriends from college. Two of them live within driving distance, so I really have no excuse not to see them! Plus, I really want them to meet Collin.
Stop being so hard on myself. I’m my harshest critic. I even criticize myself for other people! I spent a good part of the last year feeling like I was failing and flailing, but truthfully I was just adjusting to being in a relationship, and moving in with Collin, and figuring out how to move forward in my career. I have to make a concentrated effort to breathe (which, being active really helps me with!).
To go hand-in-hand with being kinder to myself, I also need to work on trying not to do it all. I’ve really run myself ragged some months, trying not to let anyone down, or overwhelming myself with stress, and it affected my relationships with other people, and myself. I’m still not one for binge-watching Netflix all day, but taking a few hours a week to just sit and be still is one of my priorities for this year.
Financial responsibility. I’ve been sitting on my retirement from working for the state for too long, and really need to transfer it to my bank. Also, just set up a better method for keeping my emergency savings, travel savings, gift savings, etc., because sometimes it’s hard to keep track of it all.
Spend more time with my grandparents! At the end of 2018, both of my grandmothers were sick, my Mom was in the hospital, and then I was sick for two weeks. It really put things into perspective for me, as far as how little time we have with our loved ones, and how important it is to take care of ourselves, and each other.
Bonus: Go on a trip with Collin. So far we’ve traveled with my family, Melissa & her bf, and his Mom, but we haven’t really gone somewhere new, just the two of us.