the one you’ll never have [excerpts from a book i’ll never write – fourteen].

i want to tell him that i think he’s handsome and a handful and that i’m probably already half-drunk in love with him, but i don’t.

and in this one thing, the fear wins and it consumes me.  because to do so, to lay all my feelings bare, would be to drop a million walls, and wage a losing war, already knowing that he cannot feel the same.