#MondayMantra

everyday magic

the best parts of my weekend consisted of spending the day with both of my sisters on saturday, and then helping my parents build their deck on sunday.  and sleeping twelve hours on saturday night, after a long day at the helotes marketplace.

it would be easy to gripe about my long weekend, to complain that i never have time to myself or i’m always on the go.  that’s a life i enjoy, being in constant motion, so to complain about it would be hypocritical.  so when a little bit of that crankiness from not having time to relax began to settle in, i rerouted my thoughts and remembered how happy, how content, how focused i was in the moments i spent with my family, working towards a common goal.

it’s so important to find the magic in every day life.  there’s so much out there right now that can get us down, and it feels like we’re all moving at the speed of light.  it’s hard to see the stars shinin’ under the storm brewin’ sometimes.

but y’all, the magic is always there.  sometimes you just gotta look for it, sometimes you gotta make it yourself.

idk about you, but i’m feeling 32.

[title is an obvious reference to t.swift’s “22”]

31 has come and gone.  you would think by now i’d be an older, wiser version of myself, but nope.  with 32 came the same ol’, same ol’.  for example, i spent my birthday getting too much sun and drinking too much tequila, and by the end of the night i had lost my entire makeup bag.  yup…all $600+ of products, gone.

so, now, as i have done in the past with other losses, i’m trying to rebuild.  this time it’s not as serious as say when i had my heart broken a few weeks after my 30th birthday, but still…same ol’, same ol’.

everything is a lesson right?

i’ve spent the past month doing a whole lot of adult-y type things – vacationing for the weekend in port a/rockport with my honey, my best friend & her bf, moving into a new home with my honey, buying necessities for said-home (who knew a person could get so excited over a new stainless steel step-can?), planning trips for my cousin’s bachelorette & wedding – it’s been a busy month, i guess.  but i still don’t feel like an adult.  i still called my dad when my tire went flat.  i still call my mom when i feel under the weather.  i still don’t want to clean up the kitchen after i destroy it making dinner.

is it our vanity that forces us to search for signs of “adulthood”?  am i not making it in life because i let my dishes sit in the sink overnight (not all of them, just the ones i was too tired to wash after spending several hours standing in the kitchen)?  why is that how we measure our worth?

i love that i’m still a little scatterbrained.  it’s not fun having to repurchase all my favorite beauty products, but the backstory is a little hilarious.  i don’t mind laughing at myself, i guess.

maybe that’s the wisdom i want to impart as i move (more slowly than usual) into 32 years of life.  you gotta be willing to laugh at yourself sometimes, because life comes at you fast, and it’s not always pretty and it’s not always easy.  it’s all about how you react…take it in stride.  🙂

happy hump day, y’all!

dream girl [excerpts from a book i’ll never write – twenty-two].

combing through my old drafts, searching for inspiration.  stumbled upon this one, not sure why it never got posted…

you fool yourself into thinking you know who she is, but nothing could be farther from the truth.  she is a kindness you have never witnessed before, bundled up in sass that could cut through the toughest steel.  she’s never aimed for sexy, that’s not her thing, but she’s got a little bit of hard-ass you’d never suspect coming.  she places her loyalty at your feet, and it’ll hold under the weight of broken promises and shattered dreams.  she’s a country song you have to dance to, the wind blowing through her hair as she speeds down backroads, a pile of books on the nightstand.  she’s the kind of person who would learn to make your favorite soup, even though she’d never eat it.  she’ll always remember your birthday, and never forget your first kiss.  she’s like a hummingbird, in constant motion, so when she slows down you know she needs the rest.  she’s a dream you’ll never wake from, nor will you ever want to.

it’s friday!!

Riley looking handsome post-haircut. ❤️

one more week til our paralegal certification course is dunzo.  i’m counting down the hours til i submit that last exam and do a little happy dance that it. is. all. over!  i can see the light at the end of the tunnel, y’all, and it’s so bright and cheery and i think i see a glimpse of a sunny patio with ice cold margs on the horizon, lol.

y’all, it’s the little things that make me happy, and i just have to gush about this one thing that collin did for me this week.  i love this book, but my sister has been holding my copy hostage since before lucas was born (she’s a slow reader, lol).  so, collin quietly went onto amazon, and bought me a new copy.  brain on fire:  my month of madness is such a good read and susannah cahalan recounts her medical mystery in such a compelling way, i couldn’t put it down.  i recommend it over and over to anyone who will listen, and even purchased it as a gift for a my supervisor for christmas.  i’m super-grateful to him for gifting me a new copy to set on my bookshelf.  y’all know books and food and music are the way to my heart!

on the agenda for this weekend:  steaks, chocolate and wine, this documentary, and maybe a friendly game of scrabble? 😉  on saturday, corinne’s bff (who was casee’s bff in hs) is getting married.  and sunday we’ll be celebrating granny’s bday at beto’s!  be sure to follow along on instagram. 🙂

have a lovely weekend, babes!

xoCandice

life update.

oh heyyyyy, y’all.

long time, no see.  i think we’ve done this enough times that i don’t need to go into specifics and details of why i’ve been m.i.a. – but just in case…

life, babes.  so much life.

i’m two weeks away from finishing up my paralegal certification course, and this semester has been heavy with homework (since i’m taking the class online).  the girls and i went on a cruise to costa maya and cozumel in early february.  we celebrated corinne’s birthday immediately upon our return, and then segued into rodeo season (i saw goo goo dolls, cam, brad paisley, and brothers osborne).  we attended the first botanical music festival at six flags.  SO MANY CONCERTS in the past few months.  like, i’m legit living my best musical life right now.  we also celebrated case’s birthday – she’s in her last year of her 20s!

let’s see…what else?

oh!  there’s a new (to you) guy – collin.  he’s the sweetest.  i won’t gush too much, we all know that’s not my style, but i’ve been into him for a long, long time, and it’s a little crazy and totally serendipitous that we have finally found each other at this point in our lives.  so, there’s that.

and i’m so happy.  incandescently happy.

we have been so busy the last couple of months, that i keep thinking i need to slow down and relax, but then more and more things come up.  for example, this weekend corinne’s best friend (who used to be casee’s best friend in hs, so has pretty much been family for the last 15 years or so) is getting married and we’re celebrating granny’s 79th birthday.  fiesta is on the horizon, so i’ll definitely be hitting up taste of nola, and maybe one or two other events.  later this month i’m heading up to dallas to reunite with some of the girls from rochester (which i’m really excited about, because i’ll be missing our reunion this year).  but honestly, i’m really looking forward to getting away somewhere quiet sometime soon with collin.  i think we both need it.

i’ll be back soon with more content, y’all.  pinky promise 😉

#MondayMotivation

healing is a process.  one that we sometimes don’t realize we’re in until it’s been completed.  as with all good things, it takes time.

my last relationship was a learning experience.  i learned the kind of person i didn’t want to be, and i learned the kind of person i didn’t want to put my faith into, and didn’t want or need to be a partner (i use that term loosely).

of course, i couldn’t do that if i kept looking over my shoulder.  i had to stare my future square in the eye and say, this is what i want, and this is what i don’t want, and this is how i plan to get there.  now, we all know that things don’t always go according to our plans, but having that determination and setting your sights on a goal can make such a difference in your healing process.  after a while, i was so far ahead of what i was trying to move away from, that it became just a blip in my past.  a thing i don’t even think about most days.

my point is this:  you find your strength when you learn to let go.  let go of your past, let go of people’s perception of you, let go of your regrets and your insecurities.  and what you have left over…that’s the person you’ve been looking for, all your life.

seesaw [excerpts from a book i’ll never write – twenty-one].

i think i love you.

but i wouldn’t dare say the words out loud.  wouldn’t dare speak them, or write them to you.

i think i loved you in a past life, too.  your soul feels like the other half of mine, which is impossible – because i am already whole, and yet, not.

knot – that’s what my stomach feels like when i feel you pull away, as i plunder forward, wanting more, always more.  ’til i plant my feet and say, “enough,” and retreat.  and we seesaw again.